Today I was given the opportunity to speak in church on "Teaching Children with Special Needs the Gospel." This was a very good topic for me, obviously, with my 3 beautiful children, 2 of whom have autism. When we first moved into this ward, they didn't know what to do with Garrett because he wasn't ready to be in a classroom, and he was very big to be in nursery. Luckily, they called a wonderful girl, who is now my friend, to be the nursery leader. She has her own son with autism and was amazing with my kids. She has to work on Sundays now, and there is a new nursery leader who has a lot on her plate, so I feel, especially considering Garrett is at least a foot taller than the other kids in nursery and is totally bored, that it would be a good time to transition him to primary. And, coincidentally, I was asked to speak on this topic on Garrett's first week in primary.
These are some of the thoughts that I included in my talk. I thought I would go ahead and put it on my blog in case anyone needs a resource to turn to when serving a child with special needs:
Teaching a child with special needs starts in the home. Just because they are not accountable doesn't mean that we are not accountable for teaching them the gospel. There is a quote in the Proclamation on the Family that states that "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (
Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations."
There are a lot of ways that we can integrate simple gospel teachings into our daily lives. The example that I heard the most from other mothers with children with special needs was to play primary songs and hymns as much as possible in the home. Not only does that help facilitate the spirit, but they are learning gospel principles subconsciously through the music. My cousin Loren learned the song, "I Hope They Call Me on a Mission," and we can all remember him telling us every time he saw us that he was going to go on a mission. I also know that Garrett's favorite song of all is "Popcorn Popping." It makes him smile anytime I sing it and his teachers and therapists are always wanting to learn it. It just shows you that they listen to the songs and they love them and make them happy. Caiti smiles and dances to primary songs.
My sister Amy told me that she tries to do a devotional with her children which consists of a song, a scripture or thought and a prayer that all go with a theme. With a special needs child, you could do the same devotional several times in a row to help the principles process in their minds. And simple gospel principles do stick in their minds. When Garrett was a baby, we used to always point to a picture we had of Jesus with the children and say "That is Jesus. He loves you very much, and so do we." To this day, he knows who Jesus is and will point to him when he sees him in a painting.
As ward members, it is important to keep the families of children with special needs in mind. A lot of families with children with special needs find it hard to attend church because of the stares they receive when their children are not acting as they are expected to act. It is important as ward members not to judge parents of children that are struggling. I have made that mistake myself and lived to regret it when I discovered that the parents I thought did not know how to discipline were actually struggling with how to raise a son who has autism. Later on when I was in the same boat, I was greatful for my visiting teacher who helped me to see that if members are educated about your child and their needs as well as your own, they are more than willing to help. It is important to speak with your church leaders as well as the primary leaders and let them know what they can do to make church a better experience for your family, whether it be someone who can sit with you during sacrament and help with the kids or even take one of your kids off your hands during sacrament, etc.
There is excellent information for the church leaders of children with autism on the ward website:
http://www.lds.org/pa/display/0,17884,4847-1,00.html Something that a lot of leaders do not realize is that just like in school, a child with special needs should have a plan for effective gospel instruction and to help the child participate successfully. This should be tailored to the individual child and their needs, and there are great examples on the site.
As my sister Jennifer, who is in her ward's primary presidency related to me, "All children are children of God, and that means they are all entitled to have a good experience and feel his spirit...it is important that we see each child, not as a problem but that we think of them in terms of 'How can they have a positive experience with church and the gospel'...All children, regardless of special need, have the capacity to feel the love of others and Heavenly Father..."
In Teaching, No Greater Call, it states, "You need to do more than simply understand your lesson material; you need ot understand the people you teach - as children of God and as individuals."
As another mother in my ward shared with me, it is important as they get older to continue to include them and give them callings and responsibilities so that they can feel that they are contributing and are a part of the ward and also so that they can continue to progress. That is something that she struggles with with her grown son.
There is a beautiful, but simple message in the primary song, "I'll Walk with You."
If you don't walk as most people do, Some people walk away from you, but I won't! I won't! If you don't talk as most people do, Some people talk and laugh at you, but I won't! I won't!
I'll walk with you. I'll talk with you! That's how I'll show my love for you.
Jesus walked away from none. He gave his love to everyone, so I will! I will. Jesus blessed all he could see, then turned and said, "Come follow me, " and I will! I will!
I'll walk with you. I'll talk with you. That's how I'll share my love for you.
I just wanted to bear my testimony that is a great blessing to be able to serve children with special needs. They are choice spirit children of our father in heaven. When we serve these children we are able to get a glimpse of the unconditional love that the Savior has for us through the love that we are able to give to his beautiful children.
As does Garrett...He likes to make people stare at him...j/k...He's so good at balancing. He usually climbs on top of Aunt Michelle's car, although lately he's been walking tightrope on the brick wall thingy in front of my house.
Here are my two boys. So cute.
Jason has just now started to be brave and will venture out the front door and towards the drive way...
Where he normally ends up perching and holding on to the wall so he won't topple over on his head...as he's learned from the first time he tried to walk down our driveway.
I'm so glad I live somewhere with pretty weather so we can all hang out for a little while outside.
